Not so long ago I swiped an Instagram post (my bad) without proper attribution so here it is:
The post was especially timely and meaningful to me.
Somehow I’ve managed to find my feet after each stage of my treatment but the recovery from my last chemo has proven challenging. Somewhere depression crept into my world and it has been a tough battle. My mind wouldn’t work properly.
I’ve mentioned the PM’s I receive and some of them are so beautifully written that I encourage the writers to be more public- I haven’t had the success I’d hoped for….. The messages are poignant, life affirming and show the wisdom we have earned.
God knows our world could use a huge dose of wisdom and plain old common sense.
I have reconnected with many college mates thru FB and this blog. Their messages are enlightening, kind and show deep thinking. I responded to a thoughtful and encouraging message from a friend the other day telling her that it is a shame it took a life changing event for me to find my feet, my voice and define how I really want to live.
To paraphrase something I heard recently:
“You are the person you are today, not the person that you were yesterday or any day in the past.”
To which I would add:
“Forgive yourself and remember that you have choices, new choices, every day- so choose wisely”.
The last few months, going thru chemo and trying to recover, have made it difficult for me to think clearly and to some extent, feel anything- high or low. Very frustrating. I survived by surrounding myself with the people I care about and focusing on doing something to better other people’s lives.
This is who I am today.
My goals are very short term and specific.
As I enter a clinical trial for another phase of my cancer treatment, I am praying the cognitive issues will continue to resolve and I can get back to my life. I will follow the protocols and hope for the best but my goals have nothing to do with treatment, they have everything to do with survival to experience some very important milestones.
What you may not know about me is that in addition to my son, I have several other “children” who I love dearly and are very important to me- not actually children- but young adults. They are all experiencing milestones in their lives and I need to participate. One couple welcomed a son in June, another will welcome a son in a few days and my “Spirit Daughter” (she doesn’t like the label) will graduate college in December. My son continues to thrive in his career.
I have held Harry; I will hold William and I will see my “daughter” receive her diploma.
I could not feel more blessed than I do today!